The Haunted House
by TheGirlOfThorns
Summary: Short Halloween ficlet- the gang goes to a haunted house. Please read and review! xxx


"Kind of like old times, huh?" Clary said, smiling at Simon as she adjusted the witch's hat on her head. Simon smiled.

"Yeah," he replied. "Kinda. Only…" he pointed at the car coming towards them on the sidewalk. It was bright red, plastered with the words STUDENT DRIVER across the front window. Swirving dangerously to park next to the dow, the car almost hit a nearby squirrel running across the side of the road. 

"Happy halloween!" Isabelle yelled, jumping out of the car to kiss Simon on the cheek of his Droid mask. Simon, underneath it, smiled. Isabelle couldn't see it, though; she was too busy focusing on his ridiculous costume. "What are you?"

"C3PO!" he exclaimed in a happy, metallic voice. "What are you?"

Isabelle looked impatient. "A sexy cat, of course," she said, as if it were obvious.

"I told her it was very original," Jace yelled to Simon from the passenger side, dressed as a witch much like Clary was, only more masculine. Clearly, they had thought to coordinate. Simon wished he had done that. "Now hop in- the others are waiting there." Simon saw Clary's hand rustle Jace's hair from the back seat. He stretched out a hand to Isabelle.

"Shall we?" He asked her. She took it.

"Yeah. Let's just go, already. By the Angel."

The car sped off recklessly.

"This is stupid," Alec complained through the sheet over his head. "I hunt demons every day. I don't know why we have to enter a fake building with fake monsters if we could just go out and kill real ones."

"Darling, stop ruining Halloween. Today is a sacred day to be celebrated! Costumes, candy, spooky things… am I right, guys?"

There was a grunt of assent from Jem and Tessa in the backseat, dressed as George and Doris from that stupid _Same Time Next Year _movie that Alec remembered from Magnus forcing him to watch it, claiming it to be "sooo romantic, love" while Alec just though it was stupid. Alec looked at his boyfriend, who wore a crop top and too-short shorts with a cat tail pinned to the back. He wore a pair of glittery cat ears on his head to go with his glowing feline eyes and finicky personality. It was fitting Magnus be a cat, Alec thought. Everything about him screamed CAT.

"Whatever," Alec said to him, not really wanting to argue. "I just think it's a little… distasteful." He would do it, though, for Magnus. He had dressed up to humor him, after all.

"I'll hold you the whole way through?"

Alec sighed. Sold.

Simon, Izzy, Clary, and Jace got there, and after laughing at how coordinated Isabelle and Magnus were they stepped into the haunted house. Tessa grasped Jem's arm, Alec was securely in Magnus's arms as promised, Clary and Jace walked behind Simon and Isabelle, huddled together. It was dark and the walls were painted with fluorescent paint meant to simulate blood.

"This isn't that scary," Alec said, his voice muffled by Magnus's chest. "This is pretty ridiculous, actu-" he was caught off by a scream from his warlock and he jumped back from him. "MAGNUS?"

"It was nothing, darling. Just a puff of air from the vents on the floor." He kicked the vent with a booted foot to illustrate his point.

"You're afraid of haunted houses." Alec smiled. "You're jumpy."

"No!"

"That's kind of endearing, actually."

"I'm not afraid- what is going on over there?" Magnus pointed a tiger stripe painted finger at Clary and Jace, who was standing over a haunted house actor with his seraph blade out and stringing curse words at him. Alec grabbed Magnus's hand and ran over to them.

"Jace, by the Angel," Alec looked exasperated, "he's an actor. He can't touch you. Put the weapon away." Simon and Isabelle were standing in the corner giggling unhelpfully. Alec glared at them. Had everyone else lost their mind? In what world was this scary or funny?

"KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF HER, YOU FOUL GHOUL!" Jace screamed, finishing his screaming fit.

"Dude," the ghoul said. "The boy's right. Calm down, man, there's no need for real weapons. I can't touch you. See?" To illustrate his point, he yanked the cap off his costume to reveal the face of a terrified, confused boy, probably about their age and hoping to make a little money with this side job. Jace continued to breathe heavily, but put the weapon away.

"Alright, but don't you follow MY GIRLFRIEND again." Jace grabbed Clary, who looked nowhere near as upset as he did, and pulled her tightly to his chest. Suddenly, a cackle was heard in the distance. All heads turned to see a strange woman walk up to Simon and Isabelle.

"Miss," she addressed Isabelle, "would you like an apple?"

"Stupid witch. Do I look stupid?"

"If you take this, your greatest desire will be fulfilled."

"By the Angel, do you REALIZE how ridiculous you sound?" Isabelle nonchalantly examined her nails.

"That boy… he will love you if you take just one bite…" she pointed her ugly finger at Simon. Isabelle thought it was clearly a fake finger.

"Not necessary." Simon took Isabelle and pulled her close to him. "I already do. Love Isabelle. I love her as much as I love dungeons and dragons…"

"Simon…" This was Isabelle.

"Yes?"

"You're an idiot."

Jem and Tessa had strayed from the group. They didn't know where, but somehow they just wandered off. They were following a voice that, for some reason,it seemed that only they could hear. Now, the voice was louder, and incoherent.

"Halt right there." Now there were words.

"Who are you?"

"They call me Beautycakes von Valor."

"…That's ridiculous. Are you a real ghost?"

"Yes. I already introduced myself. I am-"

"Good lord."

"James Carstairs. Tessa Gray. Leave this place."

"How do you know our names?"  
>"Leave before you catch it."<p>

"Catch what?"

"You know what."

"You're crazy."

"…Demon Pox."

"…William?"

"Hi James. Hi Tess."

"Shut up."

"Why are you in a shoddy old haunted house, darling?" This, for the first time, was Tessa.

"I… followed you?"

"Oh dear."

"So darling," Magnus asked Alec that night when they had gotten home. They were snuggled up close to each other in bed after a hot cup of apple cider and Magnus forcing Alec to watch _It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown, _which Alec actually hadn't hated. "Did you have a good Halloween?"

"It's a ridiculous holiday," Alec said, seriously. "But, I suppose I didn't have an awful time."

Magnus kissed him on the cheek. "Good."

**Sorry it's short and not very good, I just felt like I had to! Leave a review! 3**


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